The Importance of Setting Realistic Goals

As a working mother, juggling professional responsibilities and family life can be overwhelming. In the midst of this chaos, it’s easy to set ambitious goals that we struggle to achieve. While aiming high is essential, it’s equally important to set goals that are realistic and achievable. Continuously making promises to ourselves and breaking them can have a detrimental effect on our mental health. 

Setting goals that are too ambitious or unattainable can lead to a cycle of disappointment and self-doubt. As working mothers, our time and energy are already stretched thin. When we fail to meet our goals, it can erode our self-esteem and confidence. Over time, this pattern can create a sense of hopelessness and negatively impact our mental health. It’s crucial to recognise the difference between pushing ourselves to grow and setting ourselves up for failure.

Every time we set a goal and fail to follow through, we’re breaking a promise to ourselves. This can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and frustration. These negative emotions can accumulate, creating a toxic internal dialogue that undermines our self-worth. The more we break promises to ourselves, the harder it becomes to believe in our ability to achieve future goals, perpetuating a vicious cycle of self-sabotage.

The key to breaking this cycle is to shift our focus from setting lofty, unattainable goals to creating small, manageable ones. This concept, often referred to as "atomic habits," emphasises the power of making tiny, incremental changes that add up over time.

• Start Small: Instead of setting a goal to "spend an hour on self-care daily," start with a commitment to "spend 10 minutes a day on self-care." Small goals are more achievable and provide a sense of accomplishment that motivates us to keep going. These small wins build momentum and confidence, making it easier to tackle larger goals in the future.
• Be Specific: Vague goals are hard to measure and even harder to achieve. Be specific about what you want to accomplish. For example, instead of saying, "I want to exercise more," set a goal to "exercise for 15 minutes, three times a week." Specific goals provide clear direction and make it easier to track progress.
• Set Realistic Expectations: It’s essential to be honest with yourself about what you can realistically achieve given your current circumstances. Consider your professional commitments, family responsibilities, and personal needs. Setting realistic expectations prevents the feeling of being overwhelmed and increases the likelihood of success.
• Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Recognising your achievements reinforces positive behaviour and boosts your motivation to continue. Celebrating progress also helps you appreciate the journey and stay focused on the positive changes you’re making.
• Reflect and Adjust: Regularly reflect on your goals and adjust them as needed. Life is dynamic, and circumstances change, especially for working mothers. Being flexible with your goals allows you to adapt and stay on track without feeling like you’ve failed. Reflection also provides an opportunity to learn from your experiences and refine your approach.

Setting realistic goals is not about limiting your potential but about creating a sustainable path to success. As working mothers, avoiding the trap of setting unattainable goals and breaking promises to yourself can build a healthier relationship with your aspirations. Remember, meaningful progress comes from consistent, small changes. Embrace the power of atomic habits, and you’ll find that achieving your goals becomes a rewarding and empowering journey. Here’s to setting goals that inspire and uplift you, one small step at a time.